Welcome Home! So Lorenzo earned some frequent flyer miles this week, jetting all over the globe to meet the ladies and their families in their individual hometowns. How did it go? Sadie: San Diego, CA Pros: It’s San Diego! One of the prettiest cities out there. But in addition to the nice surroundings, the family visit was easy-going and low stress. Lorenzo clearly cares for Sadie, and her family seemed to pick up on that. He was polite, charming, and genuine… and everyone seemed to enjoy his company. Dad got some alone time with Lorenzo, and got to hear his feelings about Sadie. Mom got some alone time with Sadie, and got to hear her feelings about Lorenzo. There don’t seem to be a lot of concerns being raised on either end. Plus Sadie made sure to end the evening with some romantic bonfire snuggling on the beach for just the two of them. It was clear that Lorenzo left the visit with his feelings reaffirmed about Sadie, and more questions answered than raised. Cons: Not a lot to mention, actually. Unless Lorenzo is at all weirded-out by the family’s strong religious beliefs, there wasn’t a lot to stumble over. Clearly with Sadie’s plans to save herself for marriage, she grew up in a religious environment. But they certainly didn’t hit him over the head with it or anything. Overall, things look good for Miss Sadie! Lisa: Portland, OR Pros: Well, Lisa's family seemed nice and welcoming. There weren't any strange personalities or scary family secrets discovered. Her dad especially seemed nice and normal, and somewhat tolerent of his daughter's crazy planning tendancies while at the same time recognizing that she is a little over the top about it. Cons: Well, as soon as Lisa's friend Ally showed up, things got weird for Lorenzo. There she is, at the door with a wedding dress for Lisa to try on... and then happy to spill to Lorenzo about the "5-year-plan". How could any guy NOT feel sideswiped with all of that suddenly hitting him? I don't know, Lisa... this friend of yours did more damage than good I think. With a friend like that, who needs enemies? And what's with mom and the Pilates class? Is this what happens to all of the boys that Lisa brings home? If so... she's gonna need a couple more years for her plan. Jennifer: Pembroke Pines, FL Pros: Jenn and Lorenzo certainly seemed to have an easy chemistry during their little fishing trip. It was cute to see how he was always staying close to her and giving her little kisses. I think the time they spent together their was a really good bonding opportunity for both of them. Cons: Oh my gosh. I feel sorry for any guy that Jenn has ever brought home. Not that her dad doesn't have the right to let the fellows know that they better treat her right... but how uncomfortable is it to have the father of the girl you're dating, sitting with a gun in his lap and tellling you that he's not afraid to use it if you ever make her unhappy? But aside from the show of force by Daddy Dearest, there weren't any terrible stumbling blocks. As long as Lorenzo wasn't scared off by the gruff talk, I think the chemistry these two share is enough reason for Lorenzo to continue to pursue Jenn. Agnese: Venice, Italy Pros: Agnese's English has improved so much since the beginning of the show! It makes it much easier for her to communicate what she wants to say. When it was the two of them alone, they were able to chat back and forth pretty effectively. However, they are just now able to communicate well... whereas with all the other girls he's been able to communicate all along, and has had a chance to get to know them much better as a result. Cons: Hmmm... lots of awkward silence. Agnese's entire family seems warm and close, but no real progress could be made because there just wasn't enough understanding going on between the two sides. Not that a bond with the family is required to go forward... but when he's got three other girls in the wings that he CAN communicate with, it's certainly a disadvantage. But at least Agnese didn't throw on a wedding dress and spring a 5-year plan on him!

The Standings Before Episode 5 Four rose ceremonies down, and four ladies still standing. Who got a rose this week? AGNESE: Lorenzo and Agnese must have some pretty good chemistry, because even though our Bachelor is concerned about the language barrier, and concerned about having to communicate with Italian-speaking parents on a home visit, he STILL keeps giving this little lady a rose. Would she ever be his final choice? I don't know. But he certainly is enchanted with her, and doesn't want to let her go yet. JENNIFER: If I was the little angel on Lorenzo's shoulder, I would be telling him to narrow his choices down to Jennifer and Sadie, and forget the rest. Jennifer is sweet and genuine, is easy to be with, and has a good heart. She and Lorenzo seem to have a good time together. They have an easy chemistry, and that kiss at Trevi Fountain certainly had some sparks! Let's hope things go well with mom and dad. LISA: I just can't quite figure out what's going on with Lisa. She seems to just have a position to fill, and isn't really paying attention to Lorezno as a person to determine if they are good together. She's going to say and do all the right things to keep this "romance" going forward, but if she's going to try and slam-dunk a husband just to meet a deadline, she's going to end up with someone that may not be the best match for her. Let's hope the home visit sheds some light on Lisa, and maybe her mom will give us some insight as to whether her daughter actually has some feelings for this guy or if it's all just a grown-up version of playing house. SADIE: I know I'm not the only one that thinks that Sadie is just the RIGHT choice for this guy. She is comfortable being herself, she's comfortable with Lorenzo... and he seems to genuinely enjoy being with her. Let's hope there isn't some crazy family fiasco waiting for them during the home visit. Because if things go well, I expect Sadie to be attending the final rose ceremony, and hopefully walking away with the final rose!

Three rose ceremonies down, and six ladies still standing. Who got a rose this week? AGNESE: Our little Italian lady is still in the running! Of course, given a choice between Erica and anyone else, Lorenzo is clearly going to pick "anyone else". So we'll have to see if he still keeps her around when it's not a sudden death match. Lorenzo seems intrigued, but the language barrier has got to be a problem eventually... so I don't honestly see her staying til the end. They seem to have quite the chemistry though, so if it's all kissing and no talking, she's the perfect girl! DESIREE: Aside from feeding Lorenzo a grape from her own mouth, we didn't see as much of Desiree this week. She still seems to be a one-note kind of girl though, so I don't think we missed much of anything. Throw "Baby" in the middle of a few sentences, and we'll get the gist of any conversations she may have had. If the order that he presented the roses has any significance, than Lorenzo may be tiring of Desiree and her over-the-top ways. Time to show him something new, honey! And I don't mean by taking your clothes off. JEANETTE: This is a tough gig for a shy girl, so Jeanette did the right thing by pulling Lorenzo aside to let him know that she's truly there for the right reasons, even if she's not screaming for attention and participating in every conversation. Lorenzo seemed to appreciate and respond to that. These two need some more alone time though to see if there is any spark worth flaming. JENNIFER: Okay, every time I proclaim someone to be a nice "normal" girl, they get sent home. But at the risk of cutting Jennifer's trip to Rome short, I think she's a nice "normal" girl that might be worth keeping around. She seems at ease with herself, and with Lorenzo. But I'm not sure about the chemistry. We need to mix these two up and see what happens. LISA: Okay Miss Lisa... you've let your early success in this horserace go to your head. You seem to think you have this thing in the bag, and are looking down your nose at the other girls as if you're wondering why they are all still here. Lorenzo clearly likes you, and was happy to lip-lock with you for a bit on your group date. But I don't think anyone is going to like the arrogance that you're starting to display... so you may want to straighten up little missy if you want any hope of your precious 5-year plan coming true. SADIE: Sadie! Hurray! Sadie is still here! And she disclosed her big secret, and Prince Charming still kept her around. Way to go, Lorenzo! What guy wouldn't be stoked to finally be the one to "win the prize" she's been holding on to for so long. And he seems to genuinely like her... as do we all!

See those fireworks? Those are to celebrate your departure!!! So, not that I can do justice to the “Bachelor” recap, compared to what Kelly Ripa does each Tuesday morning… but let’s take a look at some of the highlights from last night’s show, shall we? We’re down to nine Bachelorettes, which will be whittled down to six by the end of the evening. So you know what that means! Yep… dates, dates, and more dates! This time around, there will be one group date, one one-on-one date, and one two-on-one date. Hmmm… how very non-symmetrical. The ladies are told they must all sing a little opera in order to win the opportunity to go on the one-on-one date with our eligible prince. The ladies look uncomfortable… they don’t want to sing. The viewing audience is uncomfortable… we don’t want to hear them sing. We all turn our TV’s to the “Closed Captioned” option for the next few minutes. With varying degrees of failure, the girls all stumble through the little operetta that they’ve been given. No one can sing it, but some still sell it pretty well. Erica, wearing that damn tiara that must be permanently tangled up in her nasty-hair by now, performs as if she thinks she’s really nailing it. She isn’t. She’s awful. She’s irritating. At the end of it all, it is decided that Jami has actually done the best job, and she wins the date with Lorenzo. She gets to join him for an actual opera performance, by people that actually know what they’re doing. She is very excited. Gina scowls. Erica pouts. Lorenzo picks Jami up. She’s in a beautiful red gown, and Lorenzo comments on how stunning she looks. Then he pulls out a jewelry box, and tells her that he as a 2 MILLION dollar diamond necklace with matching earrings that she can wear for the evening. It’s a flashback to “Pretty Woman”, and all that is missing is for him to snap the jewelry box at her fingers when she reaches in to touch the pretty sparkly things. They are off, all pretty and prepped for the opera. Erica sits back and sneers, and tells us all once again how incompatible Jami and Lorenzo are, and how it’s awful that Jami has to wear those long gloves in order to hide her tattoos. She predicts that Jami will not get a rose while on her date, and will be going home tonight. We predict that Erica will grow up to be a lonely bitter woman. Lorenzo and Jami chat as they drive to the opera. The conversation is light and easy. They arrive at the opera house, and have it all to themselves… with a cozy velvet loveseat waiting for them, along with some chilling champagne. (natch) Lorenzo convinces Jami to give an encore performance of her date-winning opera singing. She’s a sport, and gets up on stage and gives it a go. It’s truly awful, but she’s having fun with it, and he seems to enjoy seeing her having fun. She gives a little bow and returns to her seat. They chat some more about family… and then the real entertainment arrives as they get a short private show by Vittorio. Man, this guy makes me love opera. Lorenzo and Jami get up and dance… but in a voiceover Lorenzo tells us that even though the environment is very romantic, he doesn’t think the physical chemistry is there. It’s Rose time, and Lorenzo breaks the hard news that he doesn’t feel more for Jami than just the “friend” level… and therefore he can’t give her a rose. She is shocked and devastated. Pretty sparkly jewelry goes back in the box, Jami’s car arrives, and she’s off and on her way back home. Damn. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed that Jami is out, or that Erica was right. Ahhh well… another day, another date. The next morning it is time for the group date, and Desiree, Jeanette, Jennifer, Lisa, Sadie, and Gina will be joining Lorenzo for a day of wine tasting in Tuscany. They all crawl on a short bus, and take a field trip to the wine country. They arrive at Costello di Velona… and soon the bottles are uncorked and the wine is flowing. Jeanette is the first to make her move, and she drags Lorenzo away for some alone time. She feels that her shyness may be giving him the wrong impression that she isn’t interested, and she wants to put a stop to that misconception right away. She explains that she’s not the sort to throw herself out there to compete for attention, but that she does think that Lorenzo is a very special person and has enjoyed getting to know more and more about him. Lorenzo seems charmed, and they chat some more while strolling through the vineyards. Meanwhile, the rest of his “dates” are getting restless. Lisa asks the other girls if they think that Lorenzo feels this date is romantic. They all nod their head yes, and add into evidence the wine, the sky, the Tuscan sun… etc., etc. Lisa snobbily says that she doesn’t understand how Lorenzo could consider a group date like this romantic… and that the one-on-one date she had with him was MUCH more romantic. Desiree literally bites her tongue to avoid a catfight with her. Lisa is clearly feeling very smug about the first rose, the diamond earrings, the first alone date… yada, yada. And she is happy to throw all of that out in the faces of the other girls. Uh, Lisa… you still have to live with these girls. Unless you want to find your bra in the freezer, you might want to shut your yap. Back at the Bachelorette house, the only two girls still at home after Jami’s early departure is Erica and Agnese. They receive a date box, with clues to what their two-on-one date the next evening will entail. Erica, ever the condescending twit, reads the contents of the note to Agnese as if she is reading a Dr. Suess book to a three-year-old. “One Rose… One Stays, One Goes” Erica points to the words as she reads them, pronouncing them very slowly and emphatically. Agnese look at her like she is a madwoman. Then she grabs the note from Erica and says, “The rose is mine.” Yeah, Erica… I think she understands. Back in Tuscany, night has fallen, and all the ladies have dressed up a bit and are waiting for Lorenzo by the pool. Champagne is flowing once again. It’s time for Sadie to steal some one-on-one time, so she and Prince Charming stroll off for a chat. After settling on some lounge chairs, Sadie tells him that she needs to explain something to him… that she takes relationships seriously, and as a result she is actually saving herself for marriage. Lorenzo is actually very cool about it. He comments how such a decision demonstrates her values, and that he thinks it’s amazing that she’s obviously waiting for the right person. Nicely done by both! Sadie broke the news in a very straight-forward, non-drama way (and before anyone else could do it for her), and Lorenzo reacted in a very respectful and non-flustered way. Will it really matter? We can’t know… but at least it’s out there now. Sadie and Lorenzo return to the pool, and then Lorenzo steals tree-hugging Lisa away for a little alone time. He must really like this girl, because he reiterates how much he enjoyed their first date, and then asks Lisa if he can kiss her. This is the first time our Bachelor has actually initiated such a thing. Lisa of course says he can kiss her, and they share a couple smooches. Then we hear Lisa telling us how she felt really good after the kiss. AGAIN she brings up her “timeline” and her “plan” and lets us know that everything seems to be on schedule. Strangely, she doesn’t actually mention if she likes Lorenzo… she’s just happy that he seems to be timely. Back at the Bachelorette villa, Erica is still treating Agnese like a dim three-year-old. She tells us that out of the whole house, she can communicate with Agnese the best, because she speaks English very s-l-o-w-ly, and with an Italian accent. (WTF??) She demonstrates this amazing talent by telling Agnese “Me tired. I go to sleep now.” Wow, Erica… you just never cease to amaze me. Your talents are endless. Truly. Things are a bit livelier back in Tuscany. All the girls have stripped down to their bikinis, and have jumped in the pool. Lorenzo is no dummy, and he’s jumped in to join them. The wine and champagne continue to flow, and the party eventually continues upstairs where they all decide to play Truth or Dare. (Drunken pajama-party Truth or Dare on national TV… you’ve got to love that!) Desiree is first up and goes straight for the dare. She has to eat a grape out of Lorenzo’s mouth. She hesitates – not at all – and happily climbs all over him to comply. Jen takes a dare, and has to take a body shot off of Lorenzo’s stomach. Lorenzo is truly loving this game. Lorenzo takes truth, and Sadie asks him how many of the bachelorettes he has kissed. He diplomatically tells them that he has kissed everyone, albeit in some cases only on the cheek. The girls feel cheated, but are secretly impressed by his honest and yet non-controversial answer. Lisa feels especially special, because she figures he is answering in such a roundabout manner because he is trying to protect her honor. Yeah, what she doesn’t know is he and Agnese already did heavy smooching a couple days back… so the only one he is trying to protect is himself. The next morning, Lorenzo takes Jen by the hand and leads her outside so that they can have some time to talk. He asks her about her teaching, and she gets a little teary thinking of her students, which charms Lorenzo. They have a brief, but sweet conversation, and Lorenzo then gives her a kiss right before they go back and join the other girls. It’s Rose time, and the Tuscany ladies are all anxious to find out which lucky lady will receive it, since it’s been hanging over them since last evening. Lorenzo gives it to Jeanette, because he enjoyed their honest conversation in the vineyards. As girls do, all of the other ladies immediately begin questioning what they did wrong to not receive the rose. Sadie wonders if she did a bad thing by being so honest with him so early. Lisa doesn’t understand why he didn’t select her, since she was his first kiss (correction: since she thinks she was his first kiss). Ladies, ladies! Please stop beating yourselves up! There were 6 ladies, and 1 rose… by definition, five of you were not going to get a rose. It’s math, that’s all! You didn’t do anything wrong. Sheesh. That evening, it’s time for the last of the dates… the anticipated two-on-one pairing of Erica and Agnese. What was originally going to be a night on the town, has been changed to be a night lounging around at home at Lorenzo’s quarters. He instructs the girls to go find something comfy in his closet to change into. They grab boxers and t-shirts, and then sit on his bed and enjoy pizza and wine. Erica notices the rose sitting over on the side of the room, and mentions to everyone that she notices the rose sitting over on the side of the room. Lorenzo gives out a small sigh, and then realizes it’s time to get to work. Time to go spend some one-on-one time with Erica. They go out to the courtyard, and sit down to talk. Lorenzo asks Erica if she thinks that she has a stronger connection with him than the other girls. Erica begins her sales pitch. She tells them that all the lovely wonderful things that they’ve been doing while in Rome don’t mean anything to her, because she – coming from a privileged background – can do all of this fancy stuff any day. She’s been to Rome, she’s been in helicopters, she eats fancy food and wears fancy clothes… she is so wonderful, and so special, and so great… that she’s had all of this stuff handed to her during her entire life. Lorenzo stares at her, clearly wishing he was somewhere else, wondering what her point is. What is her point? Oh, here it is! Unlike the other girls that may be here just to be wined and dined… she is here for HIM. Lorenzo says nothing. He stares at her like she’s an alien, until she finally stops talking and asks if there is anything else he wants to know about her. Uhhhhh… no, there is nothing else he wants to know. If fact, he is quite sure he has all the information he needs to make a decision about Erica. Afterwards, Erica tells us how great it went. She explains that Lorenzo is royalty, and he’s not a commoner (you know, like you and me). And that he needs HER to do the job. What? Is this a job interview now? Did I doze off, and wake up during The Apprentice? Whatever… she then starts going down the list of all her competition. She says that girls like Jen are a dime a dozen, that Sadie is noteworthy only because she is a virgin and that is a bit rare, that Lisa is a step up from that (maybe because she is so snobby, and Erica admires that?), and that then she, Erica, is a hundred steps up from that… uh, because I guess she was born to that well-known royal family in Texas? Who knows. Anyway, there is still no mention that she actually LIKES Lorenzo, just that he has the pedigree that she is looking for. Ah well… details, details. So now it is time for Lorenzo to spend some time with Agnese. He admits that he likes her, but that the language barrier is an issue. But they sit down together on the same couch in the courtyard, and do their best to communicate. Agnese explains that he isn’t really seeing her for who she is, because usually she is one that likes to talk and share what she thinks… and that obviously that has been hard since she doesn’t speak English very well. But the very fact that she could communicate THAT, demonstrates that she can speak English well enough to get her thoughts across. In the meantime, Erica is spying on them from the balcony of the bedroom that looks down on the courtyard. At first she lies low, trying not to be seen. But then her need to have all the attention all of the time gets the better of her, and she springs up and hangs over the railing waving to them both and yelling, “Hi guys!” Agnese tries to wave her away and not-so-jokingly says, “See you later.” Lorenzo mumbles something about being right up, although he was obviously not done with his conversation with Agnese. Well, our Bachelor Prince has at least had enough time to make a decision. He waffles back and forth, saying nice things about both girls, but then tells Erica that he feels that she would change to become whatever he wants instead of saying true to herself. She immediately interrupts him, and tells him that isn’t true. He says, well, that’s his impression… and so he gives the rose to Agnese. Erica gets quiet while Agnese accepts the rose and gives Lorenzo a kiss. Then Lorenzo offers to walk her out. As they make their way out to the car, Erica starts getting more and more irate. She starts blaming Lorenzo for judging her about the one thing she said on the other group date (that SHE judges people, and feels it is okay to do so). Lorenzo then counters that tonight she was completely different, and she acted differently to better fit in with what she thought he would like. Now she starts getting hysterical… once again yammering on about how because she comes from a certain background, people have judged her during her entire life. And IT’S NOT FAIR….!!! And surely he should understand because he’s from the same background, blah, blah, (sob) blah. Lorenzo just gets more determined to march her to the car, now certain that he has made absolutely the right decision because this girl is an unstable frootloop. He helps her into the car and shuts the door. She then proceeds to roll down the window and continue the conversation by telling him how he wasn’t fair, and didn’t come into the evening with an open mind. He tries to say a word to defend himself, and she says, “NO! You didn’t give me a second chance!” Lorenzo at this point is just trying to extract himself from the whole conversation, and blandly thanks her for coming while slowly backing away from the car. Erica shoots out a final, “Sorry, but you just made a really bad mistake!” Lorenzo’s rolling eyes as he turns away indicates he doesn’t agree. We then get sobbing Erica, telling the camera in the back of the limo that once again she has been judged because she is pretty and smart and from a privileged background… and (say it with me now) IT’S NOT FAIR…!!!! When she’s settled down a little bit, we get to hear Erica’s take on the whole thing: “It’s a disgusting little gross fairy tale. The poor girl meets the rich guy, and they fall in love and then live happily ever after. I am SO bored of that story.” In the meantime, the luggage guy has come to pick up Erica’s things which has tipped the other girls off to what Lorenzo’s decision was. They celebrate that fact that the drama queen is gone. And Lorenzo? He is back on the balcony with Agnese, enjoying a fresh glass of champagne, and a lot of smooching as a private fireworks show goes off above them. Very, very nice. Now it’s the next evening, and time for the rose ceremony for the rest of the girls. Agnese and Jeanette are safe, having already received their roses in the days before. Jennifer, Sadie, Gina, Desiree, and Lisa all stand waiting to see which of them will be going home… because there are only four roses for five ladies. Lorenzo comes in, “Thank you all, you’re all incredible, this is the hardest thing ever… blah, blah, blah.” The first rose goes to, “cute little Sadie.” The second goes to, tree-hugging Lisa. Gina is biting her lip. The third rose goes to, Jen. There is only one rose left. Gina is eating her bottom lip. Desiree is being very Zen. The final rose goes to… Desiree! She lets out a big sigh of relief, clutches her chest, and stumbles up to Lorenzo saying, “I never knew a rose would mean so much, baby!” Meanwhile, Gina is collapsing into a sad puddle of goo. But she does have on the prettiest dress of the bunch, I’ll give her that. So she is a beautiful, flowy, being-sent-home-without-a-rose, scowling, lip chewing, ex-bachelorette. Sorry Gina. But wear that gown while out and about back in the states, and they’ll be lots of men coming your way, trust me.

The Standings Before Episode 3 Two rose ceremonies now, and the numbers are dwindling. Who got a rose this week? AGNESE: I'm just not sure why Agnese is still here. I'm not saying that she's not nice and smart and pretty... but in a situation like this, when you have so little time to get to know one another, a communication barrier really hampers things even further. Lorenzo, get her number... and if you don't find your soulmate after this whole process is through, give Agnese a call then when you have unlimited time to find ways to "communicate" with each other. DESIREE: Desiree is certainly a lot of fun, but even Lorenzo is beginning to wonder what substance there is beneath the flashy exterior. Desiree seems to be exhibiting only one facet, and as fun as that may be for a first date, it's hard to commit to that kind of outrageous personality for a lifetime. Let's see if she tones it down a bit, and gives Lorenzo and the rest of us a chance to see what she's really about. ERICA: Honey, you've obviously heard people whisper about you all your life saying, "She is SUCH a princess." Unfortunately, you didn't realize that those weren't exactly compliments, and that you aren't automatically entitled to be the last girl standing in this situation. What kind of bubble was this girl brought up in that has allowed her to become such a superficial, judgmental twit? Man... but she does all give us something to talk about the next day, doesn't she? That's what the producers love to hear. GINA: We didn't see that much of Gina this time around. I remember her scowling when it was announced that Lisa would get the first individual date, and I remember her scowling when Desiree was getting all flirty with Lorenzo... but other than that, she didn't get a lot of camera time this week. Now, it would be nice to see a couple other emotions out of her next time around, don't you think? So far she's just the scowly bachelorette that gets momentarily happy when she gets a rose... and then goes back to scowling. There must be more to her... right? JAMI: Jami just seems so nice, and normal. Before she passed out on the beach, Kim was my vote for nice and normal... but now it's Jami. She's easy going and personable, and is even nice to Erica... although Erica doesn't deserve such treatment after trash-talking Jami on the group date. I like how Lorenzo stood up to Erica when she was unfairly judging Jami. That's right, Lorenzo... don't let someone else sway you away from a perfectly lovely girl! JEANETTE: So Jeanette is kind of a mystery to me. We've barely had time to get to know her, with crazy Desiree and stuck-up Erica getting so much camera time. But Jeanette got the first rose at the ceremony, so Lorenzo must be convinced that she's worth keeping around. Let's hope we get to see a little of what he sees in her in next week's show. JENNIFER: Jennifer got the rose on the beach group date because she was the only one to not start acting like a princess prematurely, and actually go up and talk to Lorenzo to get to know him as opposed to waiting for him to do all the work. I like Jennifer because she's straight-forward, and genuine... and obviously Lorenzo likes that about her too. Hopefully she'll be around for a while to balance some of the other crazy personalities on the show. LISA: Well, I'm not sure that the little tree-hugging experience that Lisa and Lorenzo shared on the first night was enough to earn her the first rose, diamond earrings, AND the first individual date... but it seems to be working out well between the two of them. But it's unfortunate that Lisa is already keeping things from him, unwilling to tell him about her "5-year plan". Hopefully things will just develop naturally between them, and it won't be some kind of chemistry she is forcing in order stay on track with her timeline. SADIE: Sweet Sadie is still one of my favorites because she just seems to be so sweet and happy, and someone that Lorenzo truly seems to want to be around. She's not forcing herself on him, and instead he seems to be seeking her out. That's a good sign. However, she's still got a key piece of information that she needs to share with him at some point regarding her plan to save herself for marriage. Unfortunately, she made a bad call by disclosing that fact to all of the other girls before telling him... because you KNOW some one else is going to be happy to pass that little nugget of information on to Lorenzo the first chance that they get.

How NOT to be a Princess... Wow, let’s just get right to talking about Erica, shall we? This girl is what Angelica from The Rugrats will be like when she grows up. Absolutely so absorbed with herself, she’s not even aware of how far out on the fringe her behavior is. So, poor, poor, Erica. The accommodations don’t meet her standards, and we have to hear all about it. She calls Chris Harrison over to begin the bitch fest: "I don’t want to share a room with 3 other people… the room I have at home is ten times this size… I don’t see any maids, so what am I supposed to do, hire one of the other girls to be my maid?" (whine, whine, whine) Oh Pu-LEEZ offer to hire one of the other girls to be your maid, but make sure we get that on camera. I can’t wait to see the expression on her face after being asked. You know, you should ask Desiree. She totally seems like the kind of girl that would love to make a few bucks, taking care of your incidentals. I’m sure she could be trusted. Just order her around a bit, and see how well that works out for you. Chris Harrison stands there, trying not to laugh out loud at this crazy clueless twit. The whole time she is talking, Erica is shifting her weight back and forth, and stroking the ends of her nasty straw-colored hair. You know what sweetie? Mummy’s not here to complain to and order the staff around for you. But the good news is, you are so damn spoiled that no man on earth is going to want to marry you… so you’ll be able to live at home with Mom and Dad and be their little princess forever. Okay, maybe it’s bad editing. Maybe Erica really isn’t this bad? Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and see if she redeems herself. She couldn’t really be this bad… right? (yeah, I know, I’m being ridiculously optimistic) So after Chris gathers the girls on the lawn (after Erica’s snit fit about the poor accommodations) they are told that there will be two group dates, and one individual date. And since Lisa got the first rose the first night, she will be the one that gets to go on the individual date. Erica’s reaction? Disappointment, disgust, and disbelief that this girl gets the first rose, diamond earrings, and the first date… just for hugging a tree. (Okay, she may have a point there… but she doesn’t have to be so arrogant about it, as if the only logical answer was that SHE should get the first individual date, as well as every one after.) So okay, we can understand that it may appear that Lisa is getting a little over-rewarded, but certainly NOW, on the group date, Erica will settle down and be more diplomatic and pleasant towards the other girls… right? Oh, what’s this, they’re going to rent little motorbikes and zoom around and tour Rome? How fun. (I mean really… how fun! I would LOVE to do that!) Oh, wait a minute… everyone is on their own bike, except (say it with me now) ERICA?!? Why is this? What? Her license is expired/revoked/in her other jeans? She can’t drive her own scooter and she needs to sit on the back of Lorenzo’s scooter? Wow… what are the odds. Okay… maybe she really doesn’t have a valid drivers license, and is just trying to be respectful of local traffic laws. (And maybe I’m a Japanese jet pilot.) Maybe she isn’t a lying, manipulative, self-centered little twit. And maybe Lorenzo is happy to have her on the back of his scooter, pawing at him, and telling him about her first sexual experience. (I mean, really… is that a proper conversational topic for a first date, regardless??) Hmmmm… and maybe I’m about out of ways to try and put a positive spin on Erica’s classless behavior. But wait! There’s more… So after a lovely tour of Rome on the scooters, (monopolized at all times by Erica), Prince Lorenzo and the girls arrive at a wonderful hotel overlooking the Coliseum. Lorenzo sets the bachelorettes loose on racks and racks of beautiful gowns, and tells them that they can all select one to wear to dinner and then KEEP! Erica of course picks the gaudiest dress available, which displays, in a very unflattering way, her overabundant but less-than-perky cleavage. (Yeah, my mummy didn’t send me to finishing school… so I just call it like I see it.) As the evening begins, I’m not going to even pretend that Erica is going to behave herself, and sure enough… I’m not disappointed. At the first available opportunity, Erica drags Lorenzo aside to have some quiet time. Prince Lorenzo stupidly asks how Erica is getting along with the other girls, and Erica takes this opportunity to tell him that she thinks that some of the girls just aren’t good enough for him. As an example, she points out Jami. You see… according to Erica, Jami isn’t the right kind of girl for him because she has tattoos and doesn’t have a college education. And therefore, what in heaven’s name would they talk about? (As if Erica is a good representative of non-tattoo-bearing, college-educated girls everywhere.) And I love this! For the first time, Lorenzo actually has an opinion and voices it. He tells Erica that whether someone has an education or not shouldn’t matter, and that she shouldn’t judge people for not having the same opportunities that she may have had. You can see the wires in Erica’s little brain short circuit. What? Not judge people on superficial criteria? What do you mean??? But, I DO judge, that’s what I do! Of COURSE you should make snap judgments about people based on as little information as possible! My mummy and me do it all the time!!! Lorenzo actually tries to give this girl an opportunity to not be such an elitist, and admit that maybe there are other characteristics having nothing to do with education or tattoo ink that are just as important. Erica will have none of it. She’s stuck in the groove that she’s been set in since birth, and is absolutely sure she is better than any of the other girls… and puzzled beyond belief why Lorenzo didn’t acknowledge it right away. Obviously, Lorenzo has had just about enough of this conversation, and quietly suggests that they go back inside. Erica, of course, doesn’t want to… and stays out on the balcony to sulk. Luckily, there’s a camera there to vent to. (Hooray for us!) Erica breaks down, telling the camera she is so upset and embarrassed. That Lorenzo clearly doesn’t share her views on what’s really important. “He ASKED me to judge…!” (uhhhh, what?) “He grew up with a much more privileged life than I did, and he doesn’t judge people… and I do!” (uhhhh… right…. and he should be judging people? Is that your point?) The tears continue, she begins wringing her nasty, straw-colored hair. “Some one else will be going home with a rose instead of me … and it’s not fair!! They don’t deserve it!!!” Oh crap. Let’s all agree that we hate Erica and we will be happy to see her not get a rose at the next ceremony. Wha…? She does get a rose?????? What the hell??? Why would she stay when Lorenzo obviously detests her? Because it’s a TV show, that’s why. I am quite convinced that the producers get their little hands involved and tell the Bachelor certain girls that they must keep around, just because it will ensure conflict, drama, and ratings for the rest of the show. I mean, I’ve been babbling about her for a half hour now, so obviously it’s drawing some attention, right? What do you think? Why do you believe Erica is still around? Here’s a handy-dandy little poll to give your opinion. This has to be a ratings ploy, right? He couldn’t actually like her, could he? Erica is still here? Why do you think Lorenzo gave Erica a rose? He really likes her, and thinks she'd be a great wife. She is the only one with the proper pedigree. The producers insisted that he keep her, because she's like a car crash and we can't tear our eyes away. Current Results

The Standings Before Episode 2 The first rose ceremony has come and gone, and these are the lucky ladies that made the cut: AGNESE: Agnese is a student from Italy. She was one of the spoilers that was introduced late in the evening. Although they couldn't communicate very well, she must have made some impression... but the rest of the ladies were dismayed to find out that Lorenzo decided to keep her around. Maybe he's just imagining what she looks like in a ski outfit, and is hoping to have an opportunity to see if the reality stacks up against fantasy. DESIREE: Desiree is a 22-year-old realtor who currently resides in Salt Lake City, UT. Well Desiree was on a mission to make a first impression, and she definitely did! Was it the fact she called him "Baby" about a hundred times, or the showgirl strip dance that she gave him in the courtyard that won her spot? Hmmm... I'm going with 'All Of The Above.' ELLEN: Ellen is a 30-year-old realtor who currently resides in New Haven, CT. Ellen has a biggest prettiest smile, and she flashed it right away. It certainly got Lorenzo's attention, and must of kept it too! ERICA: Erica is a 23-year-old socialite who currently resides in Houston, TX. Ahhh, well... our spoiled little rich b*tch has been crowned. Erica is the one we hated to be picked because there were so many other nicer options, but at the same time that we're going to love to watch because she'll be stirring the pot from morning till night. That's good TV! GINA: Gina is a 28-year-old ultrasound technician who currently resides in Chicago, IL. My gosh, the scowl on this girl could turn Medusa to stone! Gina needs to work on hiding her emotions a bit, don't you think? She had a sour face through half of the show, pretty much whenever Lorenzo was paying attention to anyone but her. Let's vote her "Most Likely to Become a Scary Stalker" should she ever be left without a rose. I can't wait to see her eventual breakdown! JAMI: Jami is a 27-year-old event planner who currently resides in Galveston, TX. Jami is so nice and genuine. You kind of wanted to see her stick around from the very moment you met her when she was getting packed to go. If all is right in the world, she'll be around towards the end. She seems to have a lot of energy and spunk, and will be fun to watch. JEANETTE: Jeanette is a 23-year-old teacher who currently resides in Bloomingdale, IL. Jeanette and Lorenzo had an easy little banter with each other as soon as she stepped out of the limo. I wasn't surprised to see that he kept her around. JENNIFER: Jennifer is a 24-year-old teacher who currently resides in Pembroke Pines, FL. Well, I thought that first line after she got out of the limo, about her being from "his state" of Florida was kind of cheesy and forced, but obviously he made a connection with her. We'll have to wait to see if they have any more in common than the Sunshine State> KIM: Kim is a 27-year-old interior designer who currently resides in Long Beach, CA. Kim seems to be one of those down to earth and, dare I say it, "normal" girls. Who knows what drama we have in store, but right now... she looks like someone he would be happy to bring home to mama. LISA: Lisa is a 25-year-old marketing manager who currently resides in Portland, OR. Who knew that hugging trees was the way to this prince's heart? Lisa walks away with the First Impression Rose, and a damn nice pair of earrings to boot. And she managed this while being completely tipsy and announcing she would be willing to lick a slug! Well you never know what's going to ring someone's bell. Let's see if he still likes her as much when she's sober. SADIE: Sadie is a 23-year-old publicist who currently resides in Carlsbad, CA. Awww... this girl is a total sweetie! I liked her as soon as she stepped out of the limo. Now, if Lorenzo would have known she was saving herself, would he have kept her? Well... possibly. But as unfair as it it, this probably won't work in her favor in the long run. You know guys, and how they like to test drive their cars. SARAH: Sarah is a 30-year-old journalist who currently resides in Nelson, British Columbia. Sarah is our token, uh, Canadian. I'm sure that Lorenzo kept her around just to make it look like he would be open to marrying, uh... a Canadian. If history serves however, she'll be out by the third rose ceremony. That's about the time we tend to, uh, lose the Canadians.

We've got a castle, a prince... now just to find the princess. So here we go, another season of The Bachelor. I can't tell you exactly what it is about this show that draws me to it everytime... but I just can't seem to tear my eyes away. Sure, I tune in to see what drama develops, and to be witness to a girl or two making a fool of herself or admitting crazy personal stuff on TV. But as sappy as it sounds, I tune in as well to see if maybe, possibly, two people might actually find each other and fall in love, despite this crazy social experiment of a setting that they are thrown into. So, we've all heard our Bachelor is a honest-to-goodness certified prince this time around. Does it make a difference? I'm sure it flavors all of the girls expectations the first time or two they meet him. But after that, if it's still making a difference... then the girls are paying attention to the wrong thing. It's got to be the guy, and not the title, that they fall for. There's been so much coverage of this guy, we won't rehash his whole history and lineage here. But one thing that makes me curious... if his biggest problem in finding a girl has been finding someone that is genuinely into him, and not into how much money he makes and his whole family history... why in heaven's name did he go about finding love on national TV, after being introduced as an Italian prince? Wouldn't this have been better as a Joe Millionaire in reverse? He could have pretended to be some accountant from Ohio, and found out if girls liked him for him. And then, when it was time for the whole "meet the folks" part of the process, then he could have filled them in on the true story. Oh well, ABC's not exactly calling me up asking for my development ideas. But still... that would have been interesting to watch. Anyway, I'm not sure how anyone can sort through 25 potential mates in a single evening... especially since half of them get tipsy, and the other half are constantly trying to steal you away and keep you from talking to anyone for any length of time. But let's go over some of the highlights of the evening, shall we? First of all, we have to start with the introduction of Erica before any of the bachelorettes even got to Rome. There she is, opening the door, all surprised and pleased that she has been chosen for the show. And then her crazy mother comes running in from the other room… and just happens to be dressed in a red cocktail dress and diamonds? Is that how she normally lounges around the house? Then we hear Erica, the socialite, telling us how she wasn’t at all surprised, because she thought she was the perfect fit for this particular bachelor. We know right away that she is going to be around for a while, because she is just too irritating for the show to go on without her. We then get to see her pack... or see her direct her mother and housekeeper to pack for her. She deliberates about taking a fur… but her mummy finally encouraging her not to, “because of all of those animal rights activists”. Uh, ladies… you obviously weren’t concerned about them when you bought the fur. Anyway, she decides against the fur, but does bring her two enormous breasts with her… obviously a gift from mom. Now, fast forward to the parade of limos. There were a couple of ladies that stood out right away. Jeanette was one. She didn’t take herself too seriously, and they had easy conversation and lots of laughter between them right away. It wasn’t chemistry exactly, but comfort… they seemed to hit it off even in that first few minutes of introduction I thought Claudia was stunning, and they had a spark of chemistry. This girl was gorgeous, and had these beautiful dark eyes and a big stunning smile. She was one of my favorites right off. Poor Rosella. I was pulling for her, but instantly you could see that she thought her Italian background was going to be this bond between him. She announced, “Finally your princess has arrived!” in Italian, only for him to look at her uncomfortably because he didn’t now what the hell she just said. Yeah… this guy can barely say tortellini. But I was still rooting for her, hoping the magic would happen! Okay, a big first impression in a BAD way was Meri. She had these big ol’ teeth, and kept tossing her hair around. She looked like she was channeling some horse energy or something. She was just too enthusiastic, and too loud… and just too much. Of course the biggest personality to come out of the limos was Desiree. She came out of the limo adjusting her dress, and had her flirt on right away. She was the first to give him a big hug, and was all about the touching and calling him “Baby”. And the phrase, “We’ll bubble it up”? I have no idea what that means, but I like it. I’m going to use it all day tomorrow. Oh, and there’s Erica again… in an ill-fitting dress and a tiara. Yeah, you think you’re princess material, we get it. She begins her sales pitch right away, about how much she thinks they have in common. She just bugs me. She reminds me of Nellie Olsen from Little House on the Prairie. Finally, I loved Sadie right away. She looked like a little princess, absolutely! You could have thrown that girl in a wedding dress and married them off right then and there. She was sweet, genuine, and just a total cutie. She’s one of my favorites too. After the limos had all pulled away, and Chris checked in with the new bachelor to make sure he wasn’t going to faint, bolt, or throw up… it was time for him to enter the “family estate” and get to know the ladies a little better. For whatever reason, the first person he talked to was Heather. She didn’t have a drink, and he wanted to make sure she got one. Don’t worry about her, Lorenzo, she’s going to have plenty to drink by the end of the night. Once all the ladies had a drink in their hands, he gave them all a welcoming toast. That was the last quiet moment he had, because as soon as the clinking of glasses was complete, it was a free-for-all to see who could grab the Bachelor’s attention and plant the seeds of lust or affection in the poor man’s overwhelmed head. Now let’s take a moment to give some thoughts on this guy so far. He seems to be a nice enough fellow… but not completely at ease with himself. He tried to deliver a couple cute/funny responses to various questions from both Chris and some of the ladies… but he didn’t have the confidence to quite pull them off so they fell flat. I can’t blame him for being nervous. He has 25 ladies that he’s never met completely convinced that he is the man of their dreams. It’s hard to do anything but NOT meet expectations in a situation like that. Plus he’s got a camera in his face, recording everything he does or says so it can be broadcast on national TV. I don’t envy him. I’m happy to watch him squirm from the comfort of my own home… but I have no interest in trading places with him or any of the ladies pursing him. What I want to know, which these shows never tell us, is why is this guy single? Why has he been in a series of long-term relationships, and yet all of them ended? Early in the show, his mom was kind of cautious when she spoke about him. She said, “He’s going to be a good husband when he finds the right person.” But she said it in a way that made me think that maybe he wasn’t a prince of a guy in some of his previous relationships when it wasn’t the “right girl”. A mom is never going to say a bad thing about her boy, especially to a TV camera… but am I the only one that got a hint that he maybe didn’t quite put the energy/commitment into his previous relationships, and was to blame for their downfall? How I got all that out of a little 25-second blurb from his mom, I don’t know. But that’s my gut feeling, and it’s my blog… so there you go. So anyway… back to the drinking, flirting, and scowling castle-full of hopeful ladies. There is always so much chaos in this first show, it’s hard to keep up. Even though they had all night this time (which I think was a brilliant idea), I still can’t place all the faces and comments to the right names. But here’s some of the activities that got my attention: The first good connection was his sit-down with Jami. She had the smarts to talk to him like a guy, instead of a prince. Remember girls… “Prince” is what he is, not who he is. Jami started talking to him about music, and what he liked. They trade comments on various classic rock bands and musicians… and then suddenly bond over Bon Jovi of all things when they both mention they had just gone to see one of their concerts. This might have seemed small, but this obviously opened a connection with these two because Jami was standing there at the end of the night with a rose in her hand. Erica is going to get a lot of camera time this season, because she just says the most insulting and arrogant things ever. In her first conversation with Lorenzo, he was thanking all of the girls for coming all the way to Rome to meet him. Erica, trying to draw all the attention to her says smugly, “Yeah, I flew coach for you, which I’ve never done.” Uhhh… this is supposed to impress him? This was your big sacrifice? How about you to talk to Roselle, who sold her car just to be able to buy a couple gowns to wear… AND THEN DIDN’T EVEN GET A ROSE. Stupid Erica. Go fix your tiara or something. Jennifer, the cute bubbly teacher from Florida, sits down with him for some one-on-one time. She’s just a doll. She is so cute and complimentary towards him, but very genuine and interested. They have an animated little conversation together, him joking that she could help him with his reading skills. Yep, she secured herself a rose with that conversation. Suddenly, a butler comes in with a tray carrying a rose, and a pair of stunning 2-carat diamond earrings. It was the First Impression Rose, with a diamond chaser. The girls began hovering around it like a chocolate fondue fountain. It’s like a shot of electricity went through the room when that tray showed up, and everyone suddenly begins to increase their efforts two-fold. Desiree decides it is time to make her move, and she goes hunting for the prince. She non-apologetically steals him away from the middle of a conversation with two other ladies. (I Don’t remember their names, they didn’t get roses, this was the end of their story). Desiree grabs him by the arm and leads him outside to the courtyard. She sits down THIS CLOSE to him on a little bench outside. She starts talking like Austin Powers, punctuating every sentence with “Baby”. “You’re extremely handsome, Baby. “ “ I went shopping in Viva Las Vegas, Baby!” “You want me to shake it for you, Baby?” I swear, I am expecting Doctor Evil to show up. Of course, even with the “Baby”, Price Lorenzo decides to take Desiree up on her “shake it for you” offer. Without missing a beat, she is up on her feet, and giving him a little flirty showgirl dance. Now of course, every other girl in the house is now crowded around on the patio, overlooking the activities. They’re shocked, appalled… and angry with themselves because they didn’t think something like this first. Lorenzo, trying hard not to respond to such a primal, base-level, approach… at the same time can’t do anything by chuckle lustily to himself when asked about Desiree and her strong come-on. Of course he tells us that he doesn’t usually respond to someone that forward… but just this once, because she was so darn comfortable with him, he seems to like it. And it’s as if all the other women just faded away… Yep ladies, there’s another rose gone. Now it’s time to get to know Lisa. She tells us that she’s only 25, but she has her whole love life mapped out. She wants to be married by the time she’s 27, and she wants to be engaged for a year. So she has only ten months to find that guy and convince him to pop the question. Well, that’s lovely… good luck with that plan. She tries to put the plan in action by plopping down next to our Bachelor. Sadly, she’s obviously had a glass of wine or twelve, because her speech is a bit slurred and sloppy. She tells him how she’s just a normal girl, from Oregon… a tree-hugger incognito. Interesting. Maybe I’ll be that for Halloween. Our Bachelor is intrigued, and wants to know more about this tree-hugging. “Yeah,” Lisa says. “If it comes down to it, I’ll lick a slug, I’ll hug a tree…” Lorenzo chokes on his drink. You know he’s thinking, “Well… if she’s willing to put a slug in her mouth…” Suddenly, for some strange reason, our Bachelor has actually decided that they should go out to the courtyard and hug a tree. Lisa hops up, staggers… and then weaves outside. Silly Prince Lorenzo follows her. Lisa points to a tree that she thinks is ripe for a huggin’, “Yeah, that’s a hot tree”… and then immediately starts stumbling towards a different tree. Lorenzo directs her back towards the original tree they picked. Meanwhile, you got it… every other girl in the house is now crowded around on the patio, overlooking the activities. They’re shocked, appalled… and angry with themselves because they didn’t think something like this first. They finally make it to the lucky tree, and Lisa leans against it for balance. “Lorenzo, get on the tree with me.” It’s too late to back out now, Lorenzo… you better hug that tree. Awkwardly, he joins her… and with his arms around the tree, and her arms around the tree and him… they give it a good group hug. Lorenzo then tells us that he’s never hugged a tree before in his life, but in a weird way it felt kind of good. I think I’m beginning to understand why this guy was still single. Back inside, the women who are feeling neglected, are drowning their sorrows in champagne. Lots of champagne. Heather, who was without a drink at the beginning of the evening… has obviously found lots and lots of drinks since then. She’s on a couch, babbling and slurring… wondering where her prince has gone. The others are shocked, and yet tickled, that one of their competition is taking herself out of the race. Suddenly Heather is squealing and cheering some imperceptible blather over by the fireplace. We will see more of Heather later. Andrea has been staring at the rose and earrings, and decides she needs to do something bold to get the Bachelor’s attention. While he is down in the courtyard talking with Rita and Gina… she goes to the balcony above them and bursts into an operatic serenade. All the girls stop talking and stare at her. They assume, incorrectly, that she will stop soon. She doesn’t, and goes on singing. This is the first time we see Gina’s sour angry scowl. We will see that look a lot this evening. Rita decides to pretend it isn’t happening, and tries to pick up the conversation where they left off, before they were so rudely interrupted. Lorenzo doesn’t respond. Andrea finally finishes. All the girls clap and say how lovely it was, even though they all hate her and are angry at her for stealing the spotlight. Lorenzo stands up and claps, and thanks her warmly. Mentally, he realizes he can’t have a girlfriend that may break into song in the middle of a family event… and crosses Andrea off his list. Oh no… Heather has hunted down the Prince, and is stumbling beside him towards an empty bench in the courtyard. Lorenzo tries to initiate a conversation with her. She has a hard time holding her head straight and focusing her eyes. He asks a question… she gives a big sigh, a giggle, flips her hair around a bit, starts to answer the question… and then forgets what it is that they were talking about. This is literally repeated four or five times. Lorenzo is trying to be polite. Lorenzo wants to leave. Lorenzo has discovered all he needs to discover about Heather. Heather will not be getting a rose tonight. Heather had different take on things. Afterwards, she gives her impression of their alone time and is thrilled that it went so well. “I have an advantage… I’m older, I’m well educated, I am beautiful. I don’t want to sound conceited in that way, but I am. I am blessed with genetics, and things like that. There is nothing that any of them have over me, other than youth.” And sobriety, Heather. Don’t forget sobriety. Lorenzo is starting to look flustered and tired. Every time he turns around, there is another woman dragging him away, wanting special time to talk to him. This time, it’s Sarah. She corrals him in the courtyard and strongly encourages him to sit down with her. She starts babbling, and “Ooops!” a clearly Canadian “Eh” comes out to punctuate one of her sentences. He takes the bait. “Is that Canadian?” She looks at him coyly, “Did I say, ‘Eh’? Yes, I am from Canada.” But she has bigger issues to tackle. Sadly though, just as she’s about to get down to it… some other desperate bachelorette shows up and starts hovering around their conversation. She tries to steal, Sarah throws a block… “Wait, I just had one more question for him, and it was kind of an intimate question.” Hovering bachelorette backs off a bit. “I was just wondering, “ Sarah continues, “if you ever dated a black girl.” Hovering bachelorette mutters and walks away. His answer, “No, I haven’t, because I’ve always been in long-term relationships.” Uh, does that mean he would never consider a black girl for a long-term relationship? Hmmm… that’s what I’m getting out of it. Does Sarah pick up on that? Most likely, because suddenly she starts saying “Eh” all the time, and Lorenzo starts babbling more than usual. In other words, she’s insulted, and distracted as a result… but not saying so. And he is distracted because he knows he was just insulting, but not saying so. What would fix this situation? If Lorenzo gives Sarah a rose at the end of the evening! Yep, check off another one, girls… the roses are getting scarce. Next it’s sweet Sadie’s turn to steal some time. They chat a bit about where they’ve traveled, and places they’ve visited, as well as where they went to school. Sadie tells him she lives in California, and says, “I came a long way to meet you, I hope you’re worth it.” But it’s sweet and cute, and Lorenzo responds to it with a smile. Afterwards, Sadie tells us that she hopes to stay around because she really wants to get to know him better. She also tells us that she’s a good, innocent girl… and she’s saving herself for marriage. You know, I have nothing but respect for that… but I have to say it will probably work against her. Let’s see, there are 24 others (soon to be 26) that most likely aren’t saving themselves… and one that is. Unless that is way up there on the list of things that he’s looking for, the odds are probably stacked against her. Too bad. I really kind of like her. Oh well, the innocence will certainly be a stark contrast to some of the other personalities in the house, so regardless, Sadie’s presence will be entertaining for those of us watching at home. And who knows, maybe it won’t matter! Maybe. Suddenly, Chris is there… clinking his champagne glass and asking the ladies to join him in the courtyard. He announces that since they are in Rome, he thought they should give Lorenzo a chance to try a little of the local flavor… so they invited two additional Italian bachelorettes to join the party. Two stunning Italian women appear at the top of the stairs, and as they make their way down to the courtyard to meet Lorenzo, every other woman in the place glare at them and secretly swear. There is dark and beautiful Cosetta, and tall and gorgeous Agnese. Immediately Lorenzo, the good host that he is, goes over to greet the new ladies and make them feel welcome. He starts making small talk, asking what they do for work. Agnese is a student, but Cosetta is something entirely different. She announces that she is a dancer, and wants to dance for Lorenzo. Now… this girl may have been going for Beyonce, but she came across as complete Charo. She did the hoochy-coochy dance, and everyone’s eyes just about popped out of their heads in surprise. Once again, all the ladies are up on the balcony, overlooking the activities… and shocked and appalled. In this case however, no one is mad at themselves for not thinking of this first, because dear Cosetta just looked like a cheap stripper during her routine. Agnese even turned on her countrymate, telling us that she could not believe it… she thought it was a joke. Wow, I guess woman are catty all over the world! The original 25 bachelorettes are fit to be tied. They glare, pout, roll their eyes, and grumble about the wicked Italian women that are stealing time with their Prince. Gina’s sour angry scowl is back, burning holes in the back of the Italian girls’ heads. Tree-hugging Lisa and Tiara-wearing Erica have finally had enough, and they go over and break up the little international love-fest going on between Lorenzo and the Italian ladies. They claim they are “rescuing him” from boring women that don’t even speak English. He tells them, that actually they do speak English, and he didn’t feel like he was in need of a rescue. Lisa/Erica pay no attention, and then Erica asks casually if Lorenzo thinks it would be hard to have a relationship with someone that lives so far away. Uhhh… you mean like in Texas, Erica? The Italian ladies don’t take this sitting down, and in a matter of minutes “rescue” him back. Lorenzo seems happy, and tries to get to know Agnese better. However, the language barrier becomes a bit of a problem. He tries to ask her about hobbies. They somehow communicate that they both like to ski… then Lorenzo tries to enquire if she looks hot in her ski outfit. Does she wear a hat and mittens? She doesn’t understand. He starts asking what else she likes to do? Running…? Swimming…? Shooting guns? She doesn’t understand. Do you like to hunt people? Giraffes? WHAT??? Now I don’t understand. This girl probably does understand what he’s saying, but it’s such crazy talk she’s convinced she must be hearing it wrong. Does she like to hunt people??? Man… this prince is not great at small talk in English, but he just sucks at it in Italian. Well now that our bachelor has had the chance to get to know all of the ladies, even the two late arrivals, it is time to give someone the First Impression Rose and sparkly, sparkly earrings. He goes in to grab the rose from where it’s sitting… and all the ladies that happen to be in the room with the rose at the time are crestfallen when he walks past them and out of the room with it. The scene is repeated in the main room when he walks from one end to the other, passing women left and right, and all of them looking so disappointed when he doesn’t stop to give the rose to them. Gina scowls. Lorenzo makes his way out to the courtyard and finds Lisa. He takes her away and sits with her alone, and asks if she would accept the rose. Of COURSE she does! He tells her how much he enjoyed his time with her, and how hugging the tree was a highlight of the evening. Huh... well I’ll be. Never underestimate the power of drunken tree-hugging. Lisa glows after receiving the rose. The other girls are SO happy for her. They keep telling her so. Erica, not to be judgmental, can’t help but tell us that judging on a compatibility scale, Lisa and Lorenzo are not a good match. On a compatibility scale, SHE and Lorenzo are a good match. Natch. Gina pouts and scowls. A rooster crows, the day breaks… oh my gosh, it’s time for the Rose Ceremony! The girls are wrecked with stress, too much alcohol, too little sleep, and sore feet from standing around in heels all night. The fresh little daisies trudge out to the courtyard and begin eying the remaining 11 roses that are to be distributed among the remaining 26 women. Lorenzo gives the tired old speech… how difficult it is, how they are all wonderful, and that it is awful that he can’t give a rose to everyone. Yes, yes, we know… you’ll feel bad, don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, etc., etc. Look, every one of these women just got a free trip to Rome. Their week didn’t exactly suck. Go ahead, start tossing out roses. The first Rose goes to… Kim. Kim accepts, Heather tries to look happy for her and fails miserably. The next rose goes to…. Jeanette. Rosella’s face begins to fall, Gina’s scowl is back. Then… Jami. Jami lets out a sigh of relief, Cosetta looks uncomfortable. Gina’s scowl deepens. Next… Ellen. Rosella looks like she’s about to cry, Heather tries to smile again but it looks pained, Desiree looks pinched. And then… Sarah. Everyone smiles knowingly, because of course he had to choose the token, uh… Canadian. Oh wait, Gina isn’t smiling. Surprise! She’s still scowling. The next rose goes to… Desiree. She raises her hands in celebration, and says “Thank you, Baby!” Carissa looks pissed. And then… Jennifer. Rosella is gulping, trying to keep back tears. Next… Gina. Gina scowls. Oh wait, was that her name? Gina smiles, yet somehow gives off the air that she is still angry because she had to wait for the 8th rose. Agnese looks irritated. The next rose goes to… Erica. She dramatically clutches her chest, and then says, “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy! I was so nervous, you have no idea!” She grabs for the rose before he even presents it to her. I scowl. Sadie looks stunned. But not for long, because the next rose goes to… Sadie! She gives out a loud sigh, and smiles. Claudia looks terribly sad. Rita looks like she’s given up. Chris comes out to announce there is only one rose left. The girls all know this, because those without roses can’t tear their eyes away from the single rose remaining. The final rose goes to…. Agnese. The light fades from the eyes of all the girls left without a rose. They look hurt, confused, stunned, and defeated. It’s time for them to take a moment and say goodbye. There are hugs and tears. Most are sad… but only one is truly devastated: Rosella. She sacrificed so much, and was so convinced that this was her destiny. She tears up and cries. But not so for the girls standing around with roses. Soon there is more champagne, and another toast… as Lorenzo says, “There’s no place like Rome!” Tune in this season, where there will be…fireworks, helicopters, motorbikes, pillow fights, plane rides, grape crushing, pool parties, dancing, scowling, bitching, jaw dropping, crying, confusion, drama, hair pulling, yelling, screaming… and even lipstick writing on the mirrors. Oh my!!