How NOT to be a Princess... Wow, let’s just get right to talking about Erica, shall we? This girl is what Angelica from The Rugrats will be like when she grows up. Absolutely so absorbed with herself, she’s not even aware of how far out on the fringe her behavior is. So, poor, poor, Erica. The accommodations don’t meet her standards, and we have to hear all about it. She calls Chris Harrison over to begin the bitch fest: "I don’t want to share a room with 3 other people… the room I have at home is ten times this size… I don’t see any maids, so what am I supposed to do, hire one of the other girls to be my maid?" (whine, whine, whine) Oh Pu-LEEZ offer to hire one of the other girls to be your maid, but make sure we get that on camera. I can’t wait to see the expression on her face after being asked. You know, you should ask Desiree. She totally seems like the kind of girl that would love to make a few bucks, taking care of your incidentals. I’m sure she could be trusted. Just order her around a bit, and see how well that works out for you. Chris Harrison stands there, trying not to laugh out loud at this crazy clueless twit. The whole time she is talking, Erica is shifting her weight back and forth, and stroking the ends of her nasty straw-colored hair. You know what sweetie? Mummy’s not here to complain to and order the staff around for you. But the good news is, you are so damn spoiled that no man on earth is going to want to marry you… so you’ll be able to live at home with Mom and Dad and be their little princess forever. Okay, maybe it’s bad editing. Maybe Erica really isn’t this bad? Let’s give her the benefit of the doubt and see if she redeems herself. She couldn’t really be this bad… right? (yeah, I know, I’m being ridiculously optimistic) So after Chris gathers the girls on the lawn (after Erica’s snit fit about the poor accommodations) they are told that there will be two group dates, and one individual date. And since Lisa got the first rose the first night, she will be the one that gets to go on the individual date. Erica’s reaction? Disappointment, disgust, and disbelief that this girl gets the first rose, diamond earrings, and the first date… just for hugging a tree. (Okay, she may have a point there… but she doesn’t have to be so arrogant about it, as if the only logical answer was that SHE should get the first individual date, as well as every one after.) So okay, we can understand that it may appear that Lisa is getting a little over-rewarded, but certainly NOW, on the group date, Erica will settle down and be more diplomatic and pleasant towards the other girls… right? Oh, what’s this, they’re going to rent little motorbikes and zoom around and tour Rome? How fun. (I mean really… how fun! I would LOVE to do that!) Oh, wait a minute… everyone is on their own bike, except (say it with me now) ERICA?!? Why is this? What? Her license is expired/revoked/in her other jeans? She can’t drive her own scooter and she needs to sit on the back of Lorenzo’s scooter? Wow… what are the odds. Okay… maybe she really doesn’t have a valid drivers license, and is just trying to be respectful of local traffic laws. (And maybe I’m a Japanese jet pilot.) Maybe she isn’t a lying, manipulative, self-centered little twit. And maybe Lorenzo is happy to have her on the back of his scooter, pawing at him, and telling him about her first sexual experience. (I mean, really… is that a proper conversational topic for a first date, regardless??) Hmmmm… and maybe I’m about out of ways to try and put a positive spin on Erica’s classless behavior. But wait! There’s more… So after a lovely tour of Rome on the scooters, (monopolized at all times by Erica), Prince Lorenzo and the girls arrive at a wonderful hotel overlooking the Coliseum. Lorenzo sets the bachelorettes loose on racks and racks of beautiful gowns, and tells them that they can all select one to wear to dinner and then KEEP! Erica of course picks the gaudiest dress available, which displays, in a very unflattering way, her overabundant but less-than-perky cleavage. (Yeah, my mummy didn’t send me to finishing school… so I just call it like I see it.) As the evening begins, I’m not going to even pretend that Erica is going to behave herself, and sure enough… I’m not disappointed. At the first available opportunity, Erica drags Lorenzo aside to have some quiet time. Prince Lorenzo stupidly asks how Erica is getting along with the other girls, and Erica takes this opportunity to tell him that she thinks that some of the girls just aren’t good enough for him. As an example, she points out Jami. You see… according to Erica, Jami isn’t the right kind of girl for him because she has tattoos and doesn’t have a college education. And therefore, what in heaven’s name would they talk about? (As if Erica is a good representative of non-tattoo-bearing, college-educated girls everywhere.) And I love this! For the first time, Lorenzo actually has an opinion and voices it. He tells Erica that whether someone has an education or not shouldn’t matter, and that she shouldn’t judge people for not having the same opportunities that she may have had. You can see the wires in Erica’s little brain short circuit. What? Not judge people on superficial criteria? What do you mean??? But, I DO judge, that’s what I do! Of COURSE you should make snap judgments about people based on as little information as possible! My mummy and me do it all the time!!! Lorenzo actually tries to give this girl an opportunity to not be such an elitist, and admit that maybe there are other characteristics having nothing to do with education or tattoo ink that are just as important. Erica will have none of it. She’s stuck in the groove that she’s been set in since birth, and is absolutely sure she is better than any of the other girls… and puzzled beyond belief why Lorenzo didn’t acknowledge it right away. Obviously, Lorenzo has had just about enough of this conversation, and quietly suggests that they go back inside. Erica, of course, doesn’t want to… and stays out on the balcony to sulk. Luckily, there’s a camera there to vent to. (Hooray for us!) Erica breaks down, telling the camera she is so upset and embarrassed. That Lorenzo clearly doesn’t share her views on what’s really important. “He ASKED me to judge…!” (uhhhh, what?) “He grew up with a much more privileged life than I did, and he doesn’t judge people… and I do!” (uhhhh… right…. and he should be judging people? Is that your point?) The tears continue, she begins wringing her nasty, straw-colored hair. “Some one else will be going home with a rose instead of me … and it’s not fair!! They don’t deserve it!!!” Oh crap. Let’s all agree that we hate Erica and we will be happy to see her not get a rose at the next ceremony. Wha…? She does get a rose?????? What the hell??? Why would she stay when Lorenzo obviously detests her? Because it’s a TV show, that’s why. I am quite convinced that the producers get their little hands involved and tell the Bachelor certain girls that they must keep around, just because it will ensure conflict, drama, and ratings for the rest of the show. I mean, I’ve been babbling about her for a half hour now, so obviously it’s drawing some attention, right? What do you think? Why do you believe Erica is still around? Here’s a handy-dandy little poll to give your opinion. This has to be a ratings ploy, right? He couldn’t actually like her, could he? Erica is still here? Why do you think Lorenzo gave Erica a rose? He really likes her, and thinks she'd be a great wife. She is the only one with the proper pedigree. The producers insisted that he keep her, because she's like a car crash and we can't tear our eyes away. Current Results